People’s stories are powerful, aren’t they? There’s something about hearing what’s going on in another person’s life that puts things in perspective for us. We may be thinking that God has forgotten us, that He doesn’t care about what’s going in our world, but then we hear someone share how God showed up when they really needed Him. And because of that, we begin to think that maybe, just maybe, He can be there for us, too. That’s the power of community. It’s how we see God at work in our world. It’s how we grow closer to Him. And it’s an important part of growing in our relationship with Him.
We learn about God through community:
Bible verses to check out!
John 17:20-23, Matthew 22:37-39; Isaiah 9:6; John 14:15-26; Psalm 34:3; Psalm 133:1

Over the next three weeks, we are talking to your student about the importance of community. What that means is simply this—we need other people. God never meant for us to go through this life alone. There are times when each one of us knows that very well, and then there are other times when it’s the last thing on our minds. Wherever you are at, you need other people. And they need you. It’s part of how we see God in action in our world. It’s also how we learn more about Him and ourselves.

Recently, I ran across the following article from Carey Nieuwhof, a pastor in Canada. It’s a very candid confession, and one that may reflect your story at some point in your life.

FIND A FRIEND
By Carey Nieuwhof

By default over the years, I have been a pretty private person. I handle most things pretty tightly. I don't have a lot of people who are close to me, but those who are close to me are people I trust implicitly and establish a deep loyalty to.
When I was going through a tough season a few years ago, I went to see some Christian counselors, and their helpful message was simply this—I couldn't go through this alone. Everything inside me said, "Yes, I can," but I realized they were right. I couldn't do it alone.
I remember the night I shared what I was going through with my community group at the time. I'm sure my pride had kept me from talking about it before. Plus, I had earlier been convinced I would just wake up out of this at some point and it would go away. I didn't need to tell anyone. Clearly, that strategy was failing. So I talked to our community group through some tears one night. The love, prayer, empathy and compassion that poured forth was huge. I was humbled and blown away.
Toni, my wife, continues to show an unbelievable kindness. And I have a handful of close friends near and far (some live a long way away), some colleagues and some staffers who tracked with me through this season. I am so grateful for them.
Friendship is still not easy for me. I am really quite private at my core. In this networked world, I know thousands of people by name, but if people get too close, I can still push away. I'm working on that. God's working on that. There has been some big progress on that, I think.
But what I want to say is that I have come to realize that you can't do it alone. We are social beings. We are meant to be together.
I am always surprised that when I sit down with someone to talk through a life situation they are going through, and I ask them "Who else do you talk to this about?", the #1 answer is "No one," That breaks my heart.
If you're going through a hard time, find a friend. Talk to them. Pray with them. For me, it was hard, but life giving, to include a handful of people in a circle. It was life giving to see a group of people in my community group care deeply. We can’t do this alone—and we were never meant to do it that way.

Read: Proverbs 27:17

I have one friend from college who at the mere mention of her name makes me crack up. Any voice mail, e-mail or letter, literally makes me laugh out loud. Starting our senior year of college, we were cohorts in crime. Following graduation, we moved to Tennessee and worked and lived together for a year. Then we both ventured out west to try our hand at being cowgirls . . . kind of. She worked in Colorado and I worked in Wyoming. She was more of an actual cowgirl. I cleaned cabins and waited on tables. While out there, she met the man of her dreams and asked me to be in her wedding one year later. Eight months later she was in my wedding and now she and her husband are preparing to move to China to be missionaries.

She is a true friend. One time on a trip to a Hard Rock Café, we noticed a sign by our table that said Iron Maiden. (Only recently did I learn this was a band, which explains it’s place in Hard Rock Café, and more recently than that I learned it was also the name of a torture device first used in the 1500s.) We knew neither of these things at the time and took the phrase, adopting it as a name for ourselves. We wanted to be the Iron Maidens, because, “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.”

This was the kind of friendship we desired. All craziness aside, what we craved was a friendship that pursued the betterment of each other, accountability to one another and a deeper knowledge of Christ. And this did not necessarily look like a weekly Bible study, or a scheduled time for prayer, or a twice a week chapel attendance that was required at our college. What it looked like was a sharpening of each other, an intentional smoothing of our rough edges by being friends who cared more about every facet of our friendship than just having a good time and sharing secrets.

I heard someone say once, “When iron sharpens iron, there are sparks.” A lot of times getting our rough edges smoothed out hurts. It is hard to let people in close and with something as sharp as iron, and giving them the access to your heart. But the sparks, the friction, the heat is not a bad thing. It means we are enduring the flames from the fire and being made into a more moldable and enduring vessel for Christ.

This friend made me a better follower of Christ. I did not always like her in the process. Sparks can burn. But she, along with God, made me what I needed to be. In her friendship, she gave me the permission to dialogue about tough issues, hard questions and nagging sins. That was hard. But we did it. I needed an iron maiden in her, and she needed one in me, and the result was two people who better understood what it meant to be at the mercy of the heat in order that we might come out better believers and followers of Jesus.

She still makes me laugh. She still brightens my life. But her real gift to me is not laughter or silly memories. Her gift is her persisting and enduring ability to shape me into who God wants me to be. I love her for that.

Something to Think About:
• What makes the friends you are closest too, the friends that you are closest too?
• Do you have someone who sharpens you like iron in your life?
• What do you do, or could you do, to help sharpen you and your friends?

We talked last week about how we need people, and if we’re honest, we all have realized that at some point or another. But there’s a reluctance to take that next step because it’s risky. It’s scary. And most of all, it’s messy. True community costs us something. But if we don’t have it, it will cost us a lot more.

We need other people. We get that when we feel lonely, don’t we? But the reality is that there are times when the last thing we want is someone around—whether it’s our own grumpiness or because we just don’t want to be hurt again. But God made us in such a way that people fill a very specific need in our lives. And while God does supply all our needs, He created us to need other people, too.

Read: Exodus 17:8-14

People need people. I don’t care what anyone else says. We as humans were created for relationship—and not just with God, but with each other as well. As basic as this seems, I forget that sometimes. Sometimes I think I can curl up on my couch with a good novel and some TiVo-ed episodes of my favorite show and be happy for the rest of my life. But as appealing as this sounds to me, inevitably I realize I need more than a remote and a book—I need people.

I think God either finds my lapses into this thinking totally insulting or absolutely hilarious. Maybe it is a little bit of both. Usually, He puts me in some sort of desperate situation where I require help from another human—like getting lost in downtown Atlanta, or reaching for something from the top shelf of the pantry—to help me realize, again, I can’t go at it alone.

We just read the story of Moses, a powerful and influential man, who had more reason than anyone else to think he didn’t need people—especially whining and complaining people, like the Israelites. I have to wonder if when he went to the top of the mountain while the Israelites were fighting below, if part of him just wanted to get away.

We have no way of knowing, but I don’t think it took very long for Moses to get tired of holding up his own hands. It takes me about thirty seconds. And in one of the most compelling word pictures I have ever found in Scripture, we see how desperately and mightily he needed friends. He needed their support, their strength, their endurance, their assistance and their persistence—literally.

What do you think was going through Moses’ mind as he sat on the rock and allowed his right hand men to lift his deadened arms in the air? I picture his head bowed, his brow furrowed and his back bent. And I imagine this day being engrained in his memory forever. If he was ever tempted to think he was too good for the help of others, he need only think back to the faithfulness of Aaron and Hur as they tirelessly came alongside him and empowered him to win the battle. And should that memory start to fade, he could just as easily go back to the scroll God had him write after the Israelites won, because this was “something to be remembered.” A great military feat, yes. But I think there was another reason for writing it down as well. God said write this down because Moses, you can’t forget, and Joshua, can’t forget, and those who follow, can’t forget, that you can’t do life alone.

My favorite TV show is way more entertaining when I can comment on it with someone on the couch beside me. Reading is more fun when I can talk about it and process it with a listening ear. And that is just the small stuff. There has been, and there will be, big, hard, stuff that comes along. I don’t want to be, and I can’t be, alone when it does.

People need people. We are not intended to be loners in this world. We need to allow ourselves to take a seat. Allow our arms to be lifted. Allow people to come in. Allow them to come close, whether we feel like we require it not. Because someday it will be essential to have the help and the hands, on either side of us, to make it. We were created for relationships. We were created for this.


Something to Think About:
• Why do you think we sometimes think we can do life alone?
• What is an area of life that is easy for you to ask for help in?
• What is an area of life that is hard to ask for help in?
• What is one way this week where you can be intentional about getting help for someone when you would normally want to do it alone?

In following Christ, there is one truth that most of us forget—we were never meant to do this alone. We need other people. It’s critical not just because we need friends, but also because in community we understand more about who God is. We see how He is working in other people’s lives. We learn things that God has taught them, and we get an opportunity to love and serve others. The WE series helps us discover the “WHY” behind community—why we need it, why we should pursue it.